Phuck Personalized Plates…P’s rock.

A few weeks back I published a post called “Road Realizations”. In said post I listed a few things that start my blood a’ boilin’ while driving. One of those things was personalized license plates. I think they are extremely lame and should be outlawed immediately. Moving violations will be handed out to all who possess a personalized plate from this day forward. The thing is, a lot of these plates can be easily misconstrued, and with my over-active, perverted, and sometimes just barely working brain, I go with whatever pops in there first. Now, in preparation for this post, I have been compiling some flicks that I snapped out on the road of the feeble attempts at vehicular self expression. Along with these pics, will be other plates that I wasn’t able to capture while driving but still took note of. Speaking of risking life and limb while doing something in the car that isn’t driving, check out one of my previous posts about Bimbo’s. They’re soft, huggable and tasty!!! 

 

"NEVERHM"

 

 

 

 

 

— Although this person may spend a lot of his time away from home, the owner is obviously a man who lives his life as a woman, and wants everyone to know just how much he enjoys cross-dressing. Hence the meaning of the inscription, “Never him”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"JEAN C"

 

 

 

 

–A fan of “Cheers” are we? Unfortunately though, everybody doesn’t want to know your name, Jean C. Maybe this person should hook up with “NEVERHM” for some sexually ambiguous fun. Well, what do you expect? Jean is one of those names. 

 

 

 

 

 

"MIGUE 1"

 

 

 

 

— Here is an example of the Spanish Speaking sector of the population trying to force their language on us Americans, once again. First, the Secaucus Wal-Mart refuses to hire workers who speak English, now this. Let’s take back America people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"KITTY 18"

 

 

 

— For her 18th birthday, Kitty got a car. Now at age 42, every time she looks at her plate, she thinks back to the days when her “Kitty” (wink, wink) held up better to constant traffic, and was able to grip things better. (wink, wink) Like the road. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, for some that, unfortunately, I couldn’t snap a flick for…..

“COWGRRRRL” –  this plate reveals the drivers’ favorite sexual position, the Cow Girl. It also lets on that, when in that position, she growls like a big hungry bear. 

“WONBY3” – Didn’t understand this one until I saw the NY Giants logo to the left of the inscription.  In Super Bowl 42, the New York Giants, “WON BY 3”. Or, you could say the New England Patriots got, “BEATEN BY 3”. Well, so did Plaxico Burress’ wife, within a few months of the victory.  As multiple restraining orders were filed by her against him with the local police station.

“10  SIS”  – This guy, driving a white van with the windows blacked out, A Chester Van, is obviously angry with his mother. If I had ten sisters, I too, would let the world know how much of a whore my mother was. Don’t know who Chester is? Click here to find out….

PEACE…..

Road Realizations….

"Driveway Rage"

 

During the hour that I spend in my car everyday going to a from work, and when I’m just behind the wheel aimlessly wasting my pricey, constantly rising gas, I see a lot of things. Things that are either out of the ordinary, things that activate my road rage and/or things that are humorous to me. Below, in no particular order, I have listed a few of these things. Please feel free to agree, disagree, and/or add to the list of “Road Realizations” in the comments section. 

Here we go…

1. It is absolutely pointless for you, air-headed driver in front of me, to wait until you are starting your turn to put your damn blinker on. You might as well leave it off, IDIOT. Please, spare me. And my brakes…

2. Mind your own damn business!!! I know everybody wants to see the mangled cars on the other side of the median, but I have some place to be. Sometimes…

3. Picture this…You’re driving down the highway and in the distance, you see a cop who has pulled someone over on the shoulder. As your eyes focus back on the road in front of you, break lights come alive, several of the drivers in front of you revealing their asshole-ness. Now, to all you A-holes, answer me this… Do you really think that police officer is going to stop giving that person a ticket to come track you down? Come on. I mean, Really!?!?!?!

4. Old people should be required take tests that assess (that’s not asses, for the slow people) if they are able to keep up with the speed limit. Their height should also be measured sporadically so when their osteoporosis is at it’s worst, their license can be revoked. Have you ever driven past a barely moving car and didn’t see anyone behind the wheel? Don’t fret, someone is driving the car. It’s an old person whose bones have degenerated causing them to shrink into obscurity. 

5. Personalized license plates are more outdated than the horse and buggy…That’s it. –UR LAME–

6. Gas prices suck. They suck even harder as the summer approaches and arrives, and at their highest level of suck-tivity, I often consider storing used chicken grease and using that to power my car. 

Have any Road Realizations of your own? Post them in the comments below. Thanks.

PEACE…