Archive for May, 2009

 

Kanye's Upcoming Album Cover

Kanye's Upcoming Album Cover

 

 

Heard a song on the radio the other day called Ego by Beyonce featuring the talented, genius, unmatched on any level….wait for it, waaaiiit for it, Kanye West. WHAT??? NO!?!?!?!? I was just as shocked as you are. Finally, a self titled song from the big headed “teddy bear”. At the beginning of the song, Mr. West croons a little, fessing up in a mellow, modest vocie. “I got a big ego, such a big ego…”  At this point, I’m thinking, “We’ve done it!!!” Combining the recent own-ation the geniuses over at South Park put on Kanye with their “Fishsticks” episode, and my world renowned post about The Dropout’s ego, ~~~> Click Here to read <~~~ he has come to his senses and is now ready to admit defeat. But no. Soon after the meager start, he goes in. Talking about how he has a big….. and how “she” loves his big…..and strokes his big, eh, eh em…..ego.  “Everything I throw up, Blow up” , “Flow just the nicest” are a few of the lines that Kanye’s helium surrounded brain allows him to release from his lips. Beyonce joins in with the innuendo during the hook, “It’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit, it’s too much, it’s too tough.” Now, I don’t really understand the sexual innuendo and it’s relation to the song. I know, I know, ego’s can be big, and strong but other than that I don’t get it. Oh, wait. It just came to me. When I see Beyonce gyrating, vibrating, and conjugating in those videos, the music becomes a non factor and all I think is SEX, SEX, SEX. That’s it. Sex is better than music so when the two combine, the less stimulating takes it’s place in the non-existent part of my brain.  Thanks Beyonce. 

Anywho, this song was a remix to Beyonce’s original track with the same name. Who better than the self proclaimed, “voice of a generation, the fuckin’ end all and be all to music” to give the world what it so desperately needs. Not even Kanye could create a better fit for this song. I vow to all my readers that from this point out, I am on a quest to deflate the hot air balloon that is Kanye. I shall dedicate my existence to doing so. This has now become my reason for living. Call it hate if you like, I’ll call it …… Whatever…….Stop judging me DAMNIT!!!

PEACE….

 

"Oh My Wooorrrd!!"

"Oh My!!!"

 

A great portion of today’s urban music, some say, has crossed the line of tastefulness. I’m not talking about the booty-shakin’ in rap videos or the other, extra risque things that occur on the screen, but the content of the songs. Although the latter has been cause for concern, I’ll leave Superhead and the rest of the video hoe gang out of this post. 

To the critics of my generations choice of auditory entertainment, I say,  the music that  made you do “The Twist” and the “Mashed Potato” has a lot in common with modern music.  Although the vulgarity, and uncouthness is undoubtedly elevated the subject is pretty much the same. So chill out a little. Times have changed. Below I give some examples to back up my assertion.

Old School Jam…

Prince, “Do Me Baby”, 1982 – The title of this song is self explanitory. It blatantly implies the desire to engage in sexual relations with another party, and Prince lists the things he wants his lover to do to him.

Modern Day Match…

The Notorious B.I.G featuring R.Kelly, Fuckin’ You Tonight”, 1997 – Although Biggie stated lyrically that he was, “black and ugly as ever“, there is no doubt that he was a ladies man. R. Kelly, on the other hand, was a fan of a different kind of lady. A fresh out of the womb, golden shower appreciating lady, that is. 

Old School Jam…

Gwen Guthrie, “Ain’t Nothing Goin’ On But the Rent”, 1986 – A few lines from this song; “We’re only wasting time if your pockets aren’t deep”, “No romance without finance”, “I’m looking for a man whose got some money in his hand”. The Modern Day Match to this song sums up this cut in the title, as well as the hook…. Please see below.

Modern Day Match…

Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx, “Gold Digger”, 2005 – “I ain’t saying she a Gold Digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke niggas…” Enough said. 

Old School Jam…

Teddy Pendegrass, “Come Go With Me”, 1979 – This R&B joint finds Teddy luring a young lady out of a night club with his sweet mellow sound. At first she refuses, then says, “you said your car was right out front?…And you’re gonna bring me home after…? ”  After what? Would somebody fill me in, please?!?

Modern Day Match…

Jay-Z featuring Beanie Sigel & Amil, “Do it Again”, 1999 – Although this entire song isn’t spent setting up the one night stand, the hook shows that it’s much easier to get straight to the point. ” 12 am – on my way to the club, 1 am –  D.J. made it erupt, 2 am – now I’m gettin’ wit’ her, 3 am – now I’m splittin’ wit’ her….6 am – I be diggin’ her out, 6:15 I be kickin’ her out…” These days you don’t have to waste a whole 5 and a half minutes trying to get a girl back to your place Teddy, just a good 36 seconds of potent prose. 

Old School Jam…

The Four Tops, “Ain’t No Woman Like the One I Got”, 1973 – “Every day the sun comes up around her. She can make the birds sing harmony. Every drop of rain is glad it found her. Heaven must have made her just for me…”  is how this slow jam starts. It goes on to say, “I’d kiss the ground she walks on…” WOW. What a lady!!!!

Modern Day Match…

Notorious B.I.G., “Me and My Bitch”, 1993 – Biggie raps about his girl over this Hitmen track, and all the things she does for him, including packaging drugs and not snitching. Then, he too, like the Four Tops, states what he’d do for his love, but instead of kissing the ground she walks on, he decides to spread the love, and show his appreciation to a family member.  “…you look so good, huh, I suck on your daddy’s dick.” Whoa, Big Boy, WHOA. In response to that, a Modern Day Mantra applies……….NO HOMO!!!

 

PEACE…

MADEA

I was sent a link to an article on theFreshXpress.com bearing the title, Tyler Perry is destroying Black America,  (<~~~~~ check it out) and after reading and agreeing with the content of the piece, I began tapping away at the keyboard, entering my comment at the bottom of the page. I wrote about a paragraph, then, EUREKA!!! Why not use my own space to regurgitate my disdain for the writer/director/producer/actor/seeker/destroyer, that is Tyler Perry…pardon my transgressions. The writer basically stated that Tyler Perry’s plays, movies, and television shows “are walking, talking, dancing, jigging stereotypes“.  A truer statement has never been spoken.

 I myself have never been a fist pumping Tyler Perry fan, but have enjoyed an occasional laugh at the mockery that is Madea. Tyler Perry got his start writing and directing plays on the formerly known, Chitlin’ Circuit, which is “a string of performance venues throughout the eastern and southern United States that were safe and acceptable for African American musicians, comedians, and other entertainers to perform at during the age of racial segregation in the United States ” which is where a huge part of his fan base came in. The thing about his material, and why a lot of black people are drawn to it, is it’s relatable nature. They see themselves on the stage, or someone they know, they see a situation they went through before, or are currently battling through, and are drawn into a world that they know so well. Beyond the relatability of the plays, TV shows and films, they fail to see that they are all further perpetuations of the stereotypes we have been fighting to overcome. 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that he is the face of the first African American-owned studio in “Hollywood”,(even though it’s in Atlanta, Georgia)  and he produces, writes, and directs movies as well as television shows, but at what expense? We are ready to jump up and fight a non-black when they mention fried chicken and black people in the same sentence, but we sit and laugh at Madea, the modern day Mammy

Having mentioned the fact that Tyler is the owner of a his own studio, that gives him absolute control of what comes out of there. Now, what gets into the theaters is a different story. Movies like The Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea’s Family Reunion, Why did I Get Married, etc. are funded and released without the blink of an eye. But more thought provoking, “controversial”, as some would call them, films like; When the Levees Broke, and Miracle at St. Anna, had to be funded by Spike Lee, and distributers outside of the country.

Perry’s style of producing shows and movies has been proven to be one of the most cost and time effective in “Hollywood”, but, if he put just a little more effort and money into his projects, the result would be a better product. I know, I know, the name of the game in “Hollywood” is make the movie for the cheapest amount possible so the profit will be maximized, but come on Tyler. The writing in most of your productions is elementary, and predictable and the characters are not at all believable, which I think is he result of the poor writing, mixed in with the lack of skill from the talent. Tyler should focus more on being the head of a studio, rather than writing and acting in all his projects. Just put your name on it as you have in the past and we’ll know it’s yours. Spare us from Madea, please, and just because someone was on a classic African American 80’s TV show when she was five, doesn’t mean that she has any talent nowadays.

 

PEACE…

 

Maturity is overrated....

Maturity is so overrated....

 

 

For those of you who don’t know about the recent controversy between Dallas Maverick owner, Mark Cuban and Denver Nuggets power forward, Kenyon Martin, it goes a little something like this… The NBA playoffs are currently taking place, and the Mavericks have been getting owned, loosing the first two games by an average of 13 points to a extremely physical Denver team. When they lost game 3 on a controversial non-call, and a last second shot by Carmelo Anthony, Cuban’s blood pressure shot up like gas prices of last summer. It’s reported that Cuban heard Dallas fans calling the Nuggets “thugs” and he said to Kenyon’s mother, “That includes your son.” Good Ole’ Mark, spewing out bitter contempt to an innocent woman on the most special day for moms within the year. Yes, it was on Mother’s Day. No one is spared from the wrath of “The Cuban”. For Grandparents Day, I heard he plans to kidnap Carmelo’s grandfather and force him to watch episodes of Dancing With the Stars where the stiff, rhythmless Cuban twinkle-toed his way into homosexuality.

Cuban offered an apology to Kenyon and his mother and posted this on his blog…

— “When the series comes back to Dallas, your family, and the family of other Nuggets players are welcome to stay in my suite, with my family. Its amazing how tempers mellow when real people talk to each other and realize that its still just a game. If that isn’t acceptable, I’m happy to provide a suite, free of charge to them as well and place whatever security is needed to make them feel comfortable.”

Bad idea Cuban. You are inviting the families of the biggest “thugs” in professional sports into a suite with your family? What a protector Mark is, while he’s sitting court-side, spitting obscenities and flailing uncontrollably at the officials and the Nuggets team, your family is gonna be tied up in a corner of your suite, and forced to eat fried chicken and watermelon. That type of torture, I’m sure, is ten times worst than water-boarding. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, how condescending is it for Cuban to “place whatever security is needed…” ? He wants to make certain that when they leave, everything that was there before they came, remains.

Kenyon told the media that he will, “take care” of the situation in this clip.  Awwww, shit. You better watch out, Marky-Mark. I think Kenyon should take him up on the offer of having his “family” join Mark’s in the suite. Instead of a wife, kids and Kenyon’s mom, though, his family will consist of five big black dudes, wearing du-rags with bulges beneath their extra long white t-shirts. That’ll teach him. 

Anyway what do you think Kenyon Martin should do to Cuban in retaliation? Leave it in the comments.

PEACE…

 

 

TheWayansBrothers

 

 

Saw the preview for the new comedy, Dance Flick and was totally turned off to yet another poorly produced, trying way  too hard, barely humorous spoof movie. Not Another Teen Movie, Date Movie, Meet the Spartans, among others, all fell short of infecting me with the funny bug. After further watching of the preview, I pissed my pants a little when one of the lead characters hung her baby up in her locker and said, “Mommy loves you Punkin.” Not Pumpkin, Punkin.. Late in the commercial I realized that it was written and directed by the Wayans Brothers, only the funniest show-biz family since the 80’s.  In Living Color was the best sketch comedy show, ever, and my siblings, cousin and I would reenact the skits every now and then. I would perfectly capture the essence of Fire Marshall Bill. Being a black male, that wasn’t, at all, a stretch. 

The Wayans’s record is impeccable. I’m Gonna Git You Sucka poked fun at all those blaxploitation movies of the 70’s, impeccably. “Good Lawd, that’s a lot of money.” A line from one of the many gut busting-ly funny scenes where a young Chris Rock, barters for one rib. Just one rib.

For those of you who didn’t know, the first two Scary Movies were written and directed by the Wayans. Out of the four in the series, the two they directed stood high above the rest. Anybody remember this? “Yo, that jacket is tight son. Now run that shit, Bitch.” Anna Faris should be an honorary member of the Wayans family. 

Now, with all this praise I’m doling out here, I must say that I hated the Wayans for a while, a few years back. I was forced to rethink my “blackness” when I sang A Thousand Miles, by Vanessa Carlton, for months on end after seeing White Chicks. You know what I’m talking about. “Making my way down town, and I’m walking fast, and faces pass, and I’m homebound.” DAMN you Wayans’s, DAMN you all. This was definitely my favorite non-spoof from the Wayans, though.

With their latest, Dance Flick, being directed by the next generation Wayans, Damien, who is the son of a lesser know Nadia Wayans, we are assured that we will have much more material from a highly talented family.

Alright guys and gals, that’s all I got for you for now. What was your favorite Wayans movie moment, character, or memory? Leave it in the comments.

Make room for fanny. Fanny’s coming through…” — Hanson, played by Chris Elliot, Scary Movie 2

PEACE…

While on YouTube I came across some Old School Hip-Hop and thought I’d post a few videos here for your enjoyment. I’m not a huge Hip-Hop head, but I do remember the good ole’ days. Below,  enjoy some positive, socially conscious rap music, impeccable story telling, and some just plain fun hip hop.

 

High Top fades and the Running Man….. Classic.

 

One of my favorites… KRS One, MC Lyte, Public Enemy (Before the bafoonery of Flavor Flav), Doug E. Fresh. Unfortunately, this kind of hip hop would NEVER get airplay nowadays, or even get put on the preverbal wax because this isn’t the message that the record companies want to put out there. Now dance craze songs like “Stanky Leg” or raps about how many people they’ve murdered or women they’ve screwed, “PRESS THOSE RIGHT UP.”  

 

Some of my most favorite rap artists are great story tellers. Biggie Smalls’ – I Got a Story to Tell, and Nas’ – Rewind, are two of my all time favorites. For an Old School story check out Slick Rick’s – Children’s Story. 

 

I know this isn’t the list of all lists, but just a few. What classic hip hop was your favorite? Leave it in the comments…

PEACE…