Archive for February, 2009

The Lost Member of Alvin and the Chipmunks...

The Lost Member of Alvin and the Chipmunks...


Being that it’s blatantly difficult for a lot of Americans these days to properly speak their native tongue, the English Language, I find it quite inconsiderate for Mr. Kanye West to introduce his own language, further puzzling the minds of the verbally challenged. While listening to the lyrical stylings of the self proclaimed, Louis Vuitton Don, my overly analytical ears caught a few examples of the brand new language Kanye will soon introduce to his fans, which includes everything living on the planet, of course. Even the trees and algae, according to him. After implementing the Scientific Method in an attempt to draw reasoning for this undoubtedly bold move, I was able to come up with a hypothesis. In an attempt have a nice rhyming flow, Kanye adds syllables, letters, as well as suffixes, to words and phrases, and also outrightly misuses words, knowing that no one will notice because he’s just that much smarter than the rest of human kind. The success of Kanye’s first two albums, as well as his uncanny ability to sample bits and pieces of old school tracks and produce a modern day hit beat, has sent an extra shot of cockiness into his over-inflated jaw, I mean head. Pardon my transgression. Please take heed of my inside information as I have listed some of Kanye’s banter below. 

First on the list…

“GOOD MORNEEAN”- On the intro song to Kanye’s 3nd Album, “Graduation“, he uses this word pronounced — “Good Mor-knee-in” — rhyming it with Valedictorian as he gives himself that title. I’m pretty sure Kanye placed # -32 on the academic list of his graduating class. 

“APOLOGEEIN” –  pronounced –” a-pol-a-gee-in”– “…Don’t ever fix your lips like collagen, and say something where you gone end up apologeein” is how this one was utilized in “Can’t Tell Me Nothing“. I’m hoping the title of the song is meaningless. (Doubt it, though)

“ADIDOS” – pronounced –“add-di-doe-s”– This slaughtering of a worldly popular sports apparel brand was refashioned to wrap up this rhyme in “Everything I Am” — “…baggy clothes, Reebok’s or Adidos…” 

In no way does this short list encompass the vast  instances of Kanye’s malapropisms. When the Merriam Webster’s Kanye to English Translation Dictionary comes out, they will all be included. I would like to congratulate him, though, on grasping the notion of the Dr. Seuss, Cat in the Hat rhyme. Exhibiting his firm comprehension of the sound part, but he forgot about the whole grammatical correctness thing. 

In place of my usual sign off, and in honor of Mr. I’m the best person on the planet, sporting my 1980’s shag, and my geek non prescription glasses, I’ll say….