Posted: July 9, 2008 in Commentary, Humor, My LIfe
Tags: , , , ,

Some days when I post, a little research is needed so my explanations or comments on certain things are actually factual. But on other, more fortunate days, research isn’t at all warranted. Days like today, and some incidents in previous posts; Humorous Flatulence, and Crack Kills (check archives for JUNE 08), require no vigorous Internet searches or the like. The inspiration just flows. I went to the post office today and stood in the never ending line, awaiting my turn to be serviced by the miserable woman, standing sloppily, behind the 5 inch thick piece of criminal resistent glass. Before I got up to the window, and as I stood within the crushed velvet restraints, I turned around to survey the joint and saw some of the most ignorant sh*t I’ve witnessed since my Crack Kills post. The un-koof joker behind me was champing. Inside the damn POST OFFICE. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “champing”, also lesser known as ‘freaking’ or ‘hyping’, it is when one removes the “cancer paper” from a Black and Mild Cigar before indulging in the smoking of said cigar.  It’s been said by some Black n’ Mild connoisseurs, that the cancer paper prevents you from enjoying the full savory flavor of the tobacco and it may cause discomfort in the region of the throat when one inhales. So, that is why champing is necessary.  Philip Morris is SO thoughtful. Aren’t they? Light Cigarettes, Cancer Paper to lessen your chances of arriving at the fork in the road of tumors and chemotherapy. They couldn’t be more concerned about the health of the public. Anyway, I witnessed the pouring out of the tobacco, into the wrapper and I turned back around in disbelief. Once I heard him tapping the plastic tip on the ever so sanitary table that hundreds of people utilize daily, my disbelief turned into disgust. After he finished removing the cancer paper, and contaminating the very portion of the black n’ mild that would enter the main orifice in his body, he jammed the cigar into the corner of his mouth, clutching it with his lips. I’m sure you all have witnessed the ‘magic balancing cigarette’. You know the one that could manage to stay on someones lip, amidst a conversation, drinking of a beverage or if the person is really good, even eating. It was like that. The difference with him was that he just stood their and gestured. Sighing loudly like the post office workers were taking too damn long, and keeping him from sucking down that stick of cancer. Now, I know that smoking a Black N’ Mild is perfectly legal, but have some decorum. Postpone your champing’ for a less government owned facility. And due to the heavy presence of elderly folks scattered throughout the area,  I’m sure the judgement and ridicule flowed effortlessly in their minds.  Anyway, SAY NO TO DRUGS……..

Funny, but this may be your reality.

Funny, but this may be your reality.... Smoker.

  1. Baseer says:

    The way you conduct yourself is a relection of how you view yourself. Thus, act accordingly.

  2. Nai says:

    Some people have no damn Couth! Karma, I mean Cancer is a bitch! Peace…you say what so many are thinking and I thank you for helping me to free my mind from some of the ignorance I witness too….thanx, your insight and sanity is refreshing.

  3. Sister says:

    I’m crackin up over the comment about him jammim the black on the corner of his mouth… LMAO!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!! You’re doing a good job with your blog. Keep up the good work. Luv Ya!

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